BCP Bereavement Care

Please ask us if you have a question that we haven't covered, for us to add here.

Cremation - Baby & Child

Do I have to have a funeral service for my baby?

Some families find the thought of the funeral service too much after a pregnancy loss. If you decide not to hold a funeral service your baby will be delicately and respectfully committed for cremation by your Funeral Director and our Bereavement Care Officers, with soft music playing in the chapel as we do so.

Can I cremate my miscarried baby?

Yes. We require non-statutory paperwork to be signed by a GP or Midwife confirming that baby was under 24 weeks gestation to do so. Further to this, we require ‘Particulars for Cremation’ and ‘Application for Cremation’ to be completed. The Bereavement Care Team can support you every step of the way.

Will I get ashes back after I cremate my baby?

We follow the ICCM Policy and Guidance for Baby and Infant Funerals to ensure, to the best of our ability, that we retrieve cremated remains after the cremation process.

More information on good practice can found via ICCM website

What will my baby's ashes be in?

Baby's ashes will be in a small white biodegradable casket with a simple foil butterfly placed within the casket, our nod to your little one gaining their angel wings.

Is there somewhere I can scatter my baby's ashes?

We have a dedicated ‘Butterfly Babies’ Garden of Rest at Bournemouth Crematorium with a beautiful wildflower area for the placement of cremated remains. This tranquil area overlooks the rose beds, with seating and granite plaques available to purchase to commemorate your little one.

Cremation - adult

How long does the cremation process take?

The cremation process using gas cremators takes on average 90 minutes, with time for the cremated remains to cool down afterwards. If you want to see what the crematory looks like, we have added some photos and more information here.

Can I watch my loved one being cremated?

Yes. We ask that an appointment is made with your Funeral Director who will accompany you in the crematory. Our Crematorium Technicians will then take care of you, talking you through what happens as and when you are comfortable.

Is my loved one cremated straight away?

We aim to cremate your loved one immediately after the committal, if not then at the earliest convenience. If your loved one is not cremated on the same day as the funeral service our standard practice is to cremate within 24 hours, unless a lawful reason obstructs us from doing so. We exercise the ability to ‘hold over’ your loved one for 72 hours after committal prior to the cremation taking place. If we need to do so we aim to have completed the cremation process within 24 hours of committal.

Do you reuse coffins?

No, we never reuse coffins, nor open a coffin within the crematory unless for lawful reason or instructed by the coroner.

Does the flame touch my loved one’s body during the cremation?

The cremator flames are designed to heat up the atmosphere around your loved one rather directly touching their body.

Are your staff trained?

Yes, all our crematory technicians are certified by the Institute of Cemetery and Crematorium Management (ICCM) to either:

• Certificate of Proficiency
• Intermediate Certificate of Proficiency and/or
• Advanced Certificate of Proficiency

with two qualified technicians always overseeing the cremation process.

What do funeral directors do?

Funeral directors are both caregivers and administrators. In their administrative duties, they make the arrangements for the transportation of the body, guide you throughout the completion of all necessary paperwork, and implement the choices made by you regarding the funeral and final disposition of the body. As caregivers, funeral directors are listeners, advisors, and supporters.

What does conveyancing mean? How is my loved one transported from Poole to Bournemouth?

There are understandably lots of questions about our conveyancing service. Learn more on this dedicated webpage.

Cremated Remains (Ashes)

Can I collect the cremated remains from the crematoria?

Yes, your Funeral Director will discuss all options available with the Applicant for the Cremation (the person named on the paperwork as the responsible person). This includes scattering, burial, and collection. As Applicant for the Cremation, you can request your Funeral Director collects your loved one’s ashes from the crematoria, or you are welcome to come collect yourself/nominate another person to collect on your behalf.

What happens to the metal/jewellery after the cremation?

All metals are retained by the crematorium and once a year collected by the ICCM metals recycling scheme. The crematorium nominates a bereavement charity to receive the donations. In recent years we have donated to The Alzheimer’s Society, Teenage Cancer Trust, and Cruse Bereavement Care (South Hampshire) raising a total of over £35k in doing so.

Can I scatter the ashes anywhere myself?

You need permission from the landowner to scatter cremated remains.

How are my loved ones scattered on site?

We scatter cremated remains from a suitable ‘strewing urn’. You are welcome to provide a scatter tube, usually purchased from your Funeral Director, if you wish. If you are attending a witnessed scatter, you will be invited to scatter your loved ones remains with an officer supporting you if you feel comfortable doing so.

Burial

Why are graves dug so deep?

The grave must be deep enough to allow for the depth of coffins/caskets that are buried but also to accommodate legal requirements and any future burials in that grave. We currently practice preparing graves as a depth of 9ft, 7ft and 5ft for a full body burial. This has differed over the years in each cemetery as practices were reviewed and updated.

Are graves filled in straight after a funeral?

The grave is backfilled immediately after all mourners have left the graveside.

Can people wait while the grave is filled in?

When families want this, we ask that we are made aware at point of booking when the burial is first arranged.

I have a lawn grave. When will I be able to put a headstone on it?

We recommend waiting at least 6 - 12 months so that the earth can settle before placing the memorial headstone. This helps to ensure that no damage is made to your lovely new headstone from subsidence.

Who can put the headstone on my family grave?

You can purchase a headstone from a BRAMM or NAMM-registered Stonemason. Read more on this page.

Why have I only been sold the grave for a set period?

Legally, graves cannot be sold for more than 99 years now. We currently practice permitting the rights to the grave being purchased for up to 50 years maximum.

What happens when the lease expires, on a new grave for 50 or 75 years?

When you buy a grave you purchase the rights of burial in that grave for a set period. If the lease is not renewed, the burial rights will run out, including the right to erst or replace a memorial.

What happens when the lease expires on old graves for 100 years?

The grave then becomes the responsibility and property of BCP Council.

What happens if / when all the owners have died?

Ownership of the right of burial in a grave can be transferred from a deceased owner via their estate. Each case is examined individually and can be highly complex albeit achievable. If you need to transfer ownership when all owners are deceased, please email us. 

Who will be there on the day?

A Burials Officiant will meet you on the day, either at the chapel or graveside depending on your service requests. They will oversee the whole burial service leading the Funeral Director, Bearers, and Gravediggers during the funeral.